God is so faithful

Okay, so many of you know that I am officially a stay at home mommy now, but some of you do not know how long I have wanted this. When Cody and I first got married he and I were both in school and we did fine, but when we had Noah, and I graduated from college we knew that my job would pay more than any job that he could get at that time, so i went to work full time when Noah was about 6 1/2 months old. This was SO hard for me and I cannot tell you how many times I cried and cried because of it. I felt so guilty for not staying home and not only that, but I wanted to be home. So, eventually when I realized I would not be able to stay at home and kind of "let it go" with Cody I became very hard hearted because of it. I had to "pretend" like I wanted to work, even though I didn't but had to. This creates all kinds of turmoil inside. So, I prayed for 2 years that God would allo me to stay at home and to make a long story (2 years worth) short, I am now staying at home with my boys. God is very faithful to provide. I need to look back at this in 6 or 7 months when we are REALLY broke and remember that I wanted this more than a lot of clothes, jewelery (which I love), a new house, etc...
My relationship with God, my husband, and my beautiful children is more vibrant, real, and exciting. If you have been praying about something and haven't seen God work, don't give up. God will provide. It might not be in the way you want (like us living in a small apartment), but he will provide. The one thing I wish I would have changed is my level of Faith through it all. I had many times when I would get upset with God and with my husband, and other people because I couldn't stay home. I should have just believed that God would allow what he wants me to do come to pass (which is so biblical.).
What if Noah had given up and said that God would never stop the rain(we have felt like that lately, so we think)? What if Simeon or Anna would have given up. They waited their WHOLE lives to see their savior and only got to see him as a baby. The faith of these is so great, I cannot fathom it. I love that song (it's older) "I want a faith like that". It's not impossible for us to have that kind of faith, but it is a choice, God will not force it. In the end, the end the rewards will be great.
Have a Blessed Day!
Jamie